Tag Archive for 'after chemotherapy'

I went for a walk in the woods yesterday and I fell in the creek. Yeah, I know. It was not my finest moment. If there was a video of the incident you’d probably want to replay it in slow motion to see the look of disbelief on my face right before I bit it. Twenty years I’ve been walking in these woods, and I’ve never fallen into that creek.

The good news is that I found out that my boots really are waterproof. The bad news is that my jeans aren’t. Or my socks.

Now, I could blame it on chemotherapy and say that my legs were rubbery and my head was cloudy, but that’s not really the case. I felt ok. There wasn’t anything medical about it. I just fell in the creek.

And isn’t that nice? I don’t think I’ve done one thing in the past six months that I didn’t blame on drugs, or cancer, or taste-buds, or hair follicles… It’s nice to do something stupid on my own for a change. What a relief it is to see a hint of my old self again.

I had much less patience with this last treatment than I did with the others. Waiting for my “bad week” to end, I was bored, and antsy, and ready to get rid of it. But that didn’t change any of the side effects. It probably made them worse, really, considering how little I cared to baby myself through them.

But now the bad week is mostly over. My body is recovering at about the same speed as I’ve become accustom to. I gained 10 pounds on Monday and lost it by Saturday. Tuesday was awful, but Wednesday was better.

Despite my last chemotherapy treatment having taken place just a short week ago, it feels like chemo was a long, long time ago, and happened to somebody else, whose name I don’t remember. Still, I’m quick to find my fatigue when there’s some chore I should do.

Really, I’m just tired of the whole thing. I’m tired of living with it, and I’m tired of talking about it. I’m ready to just put the whole thing entirely behind me and look ahead. I’m ready to start a regular schedule again, even if my body isn’t. When my friends ask me what I’m up to, I’m ready to talk about something other than all this. I’m ready to become a person again. I’m ready for the next challenge. Cancer? What cancer?