Tag Archive for 'cameron mizell'

I went with Catie down to St. Louis to see my buddy Cam get hitched to his long time girlfriend Jill. When I first got the invitation I imagined that I could never go all the way to St. Louis for a wedding in the middle of chemotherapy, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought that going to the wedding would be one more way to not let cancer rule my life. Screw cancer, I went to St. Louis to see my friend.

I’m really glad that we went down, even though I felt tired. My thoughts have been kind of heavy lately. Having faced down death so resolutely makes me sometimes wonder what exactly it is about life makes me want to hold on to it so securely. Wanting to stay alive because I’m scared of dying isn’t enough, there’s really got to be something to live for.

It was really life-affirming to go down to St. Louis and to see two people in love, and a family around them, and to watch their friends dancing to the music. Jill is an actress and Cam is a musician, so there were a lot of performers there. It was good to talk with other performers about the uncertainties of the lifestyle, but to also talk about how important it is to continue it. I felt like there should have been a banner above the door of the reception that read “What is important is inside this door. Leave everything else outside. Welcome.”

We visited the St. Louis Arch on our way out of town. Neither of us had every been up to the top, so we bought our tickets and waited in line. If you’ve ever gone to the Arch, you will probably never forget the minute soup cans that they stuff you in to transport you to the top. They called it a “tram,” which should have tipped me off in the first place. I don’t know why, but its my experience that anything called a “tram” is bound to be something I can’t wait to get out of. These things were like white escape pods from a sci fi movie; the cosmonauts probably had more leg room in Sputnik. If there had been any more creaks and groans during the 630 foot ascension, I probably would have found religion.

The view from the top of the arch was a lot like I imagined it would be like to look out of very small windows at the top of a 630 foot arch. The space at the top is short and, duh, arch-shaped. Tall people and those with weak middle-ear function should not attempt any activities while in this space. The room was packed with tall people and others with weak middle-ear function roaming back and forth from one window to the next, looking as if they had never seen trees or buildings before. Perhaps they were not from this planet, and had come here in their escape pods.

The trip down was quick, so I couldn’t fit in as many silent “Idontwannadie’s” as I did on the way up. I’m glad that I’ve finally gone up in the St. Louis Arch. Let’s never do it again.

And I’m glad I went to see Cam and Jill on their wedding day.